“I felt like I was drowning in my own air. The more I tried to control it, the less control I had.”
There were three times in my life when I was so terrified to the point that I thought I was going to die. Well…give or take. I discovered later that it was a panic attack.
One day, I literally drove into a tornado (we’ll talk about this some other time). The other time, my mother went into cardiac arrest when I was in the hospital room with her.
And, another day, my heart wouldn’t stop beating overtime because I was concerned about someone else’s feelings that I hurt (actually…maybe this one has happened more than once…I know, I know. I’m learning to be okay when others are not. Still glad I care, though).
My heart would race. My fear response kicked in, where I felt so small compared to this giant shadow peering over me. The feelings were flooding my chest.
I Was HOrrified
I felt like I was drowning in my own air. The more I tried to control it, the less control I had, and the more the pressure would push me deeper into the shadows.
It wasn’t until my third panic attack that I realized that making it go away before it was even able to appear was one of the worst decisions I could make. Once I finally allowed myself to surrender, it weirdly felt easier to take back my breathing…my body. I couldn’t control what was going on around me, but I could accept it.
Peace was easier the less I fought. My greatest defense was realizing what was going on, and letting it pass. It would not last forever, I would tell myself. I can let it be what it is, and then I can carry on with the rest of my world.
This shadow that decided to bully me into fear will not get the best of me. But for now, I need to let it run its course. I can’t force it away when I really want it to. This was not something I could dominate, but I could gently acknowledge and face step by step until it was over. It was only then that I felt empowered.
Let It Run It’s Course
Luckily, I haven’t had that many situations like this, but enough to know what helps and what doesn’t for the future. I’m very grateful that panic attacks are not a normal part of my life–but I understand now that it’s not something that has to overtake you. You do, however, have to treat it with the understanding that if it does come to not fight it–it will go away eventually. Give yourself the time you need.
If you’ve felt like this, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to talk to someone you trust or a professional. Feeling real panic can be one of the scariest things, but you will be okay. You are strong. Why do I know this? Because you’ve been through intense panic and you’re still participating in life anyway. Days will be better. Sometimes the fear will take over for a few minutes. You’ll be all right–just let it be what it is and move forward.
Disclaimer: On the other hand, though, it’s always important to get checked out if you believe this is an emergency. Don’t hesitate to go to the hospital. Panic attacks are frightening, especially if you experience one for the first time. Better to be safe than sorry!
YouTube Videos I personally found Helpful
- Therapy In A Nutshell– how to navigate a panic attack
- Georgia Dow–explaining what a panic attack is.
- Barbara Hefferman–techniques to help during a panic attack
- The Ottawa Hospital–more info
Suggestions from various websites (info discovered via ai)
In-the-Moment Techniques
- Grounding (5-4-3-2-1): Name 5 things you see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.
- Controlled Breathing: Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, keeping breaths slow and steady.
- Sensory Shock: Suck on a strong mint, smell a strong scent (like essential oils), or splash cold water on your face.
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Relax one muscle at a time, starting with your fingers or toes, working through your body.
- Ride Out the Wave: Instead of fighting the sensation, try to accept it and remain in the situation, as fleeing can increase future anxiety.
Resources and Support
- Immediate Support: In the US, call/text 988 (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). For UK, contact Samaritans at 116 123.
- Digital Tools: Use apps or online videos focused on mindfulness and guided meditation.
- Mental Health Apps: Tools like Calm or Headspace offer guided breathing sessions.
- Professional Help: Seek therapy (cognitive behavioral therapy) to learn to identify triggers.
Long-Term Management
- Lifestyle: Regular exercise, consistent sleep, and limiting caffeine or alcohol can reduce frequency.
- Support Network: Inform friends or family about how they can support you during an attack.
- Avoidance Reduction: Avoid limiting your life or avoiding places due to fear of an attack.
REsources:
Emergency Support & Helplines
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: A national 3-digit dialing code (call or text 988) connecting people to trained crisis counselors.
- Visit 988lifeline.org
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 support from a crisis counselor.
- Visit crisistextline.org
- NAMI HelpLine: Provides one-on-one emotional support and mental health information at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).
Step-by-Step Techniques
- The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Method: A sensory awareness exercise used to interrupt acute anxiety and panic by focusing on the present environment.
- Guide by Calm.com
- Guide by Verywell Mind
- The 4-7-8 Breathing Technique: A rhythmic breathing pattern (inhale 4, hold 7, exhale 8) developed by Dr. Andrew Weil to activate the body’s relaxation response.
Mental Health Guides & Tools
- HelpGuide.org: Offers evidence-based resources and guided meditations for navigating mental health challenges.
- Visit HelpGuide.org
- Cleveland Clinic: Detailed articles on physical and mental grounding techniques to short-circuit the stress response.
- ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America): Provides peer support group locators and educational content.