When I was young, I thought that anything could be possible. As long as you work hard and do your part, all things will work out.
Now, I don’t view things that simply. Life is full of messes. It’s full of sadness, disappointment, and rejection–even when you give it everything you’ve got. At first, this would frustrate me when things didn’t go just as I wanted.
Now, I see the unexpected “failures” far from disappointing. I see them as moments of growth. I put myself out there, and I didn’t get the job. I prayed so hard, hoping that my mother would come out of a coma, but she didn’t. I attempted to stay calm during a difficult conversation and didn’t handle it perfectly. All of these situations were moments in my life that mattered just as much as my successes. These experiences made up the whole tapestry of my life.
~Simmmmbbbbaaa….remember who you are 🎶I know, I know….Sorry, I see clouds and reflect on grief, and I think of The Lion King. Couldn’t resist 😅~
Accept the Hurt, Then Move Forward
There were moments when I stumbled so much that I would get angry at the burden I carried on my back. But it was usually past hurts, or the assumption that I would fail, that truly held me back. That’s okay. It was when I chose to accept the hurt and pain–face it head on–that I could finally take action and move forward. In some cases, you can totally “fake it till you make it.” But in other times, like when trying to run away from your own grief, it will come back to floor you.
I didn’t let myself truly grieve–to feel the hurt entirely. I just moved forward. That’s great, but if the grief is strong enough, it will probably catch up with you later. Maybe, in order to survive, you must just keep going. That’s great–that’s being resilient. Just don’t forget that when you feel the heaviness in your chest that won’t go away, perhaps even years later, it might be your grief demanding to be felt. I suggest you let it come. Don’t fight it anymore.