So…the truth is that I’m a chronic over-thinker.
Exhibit A: my texts and posts to…anyone, really.

If you’ve ever stared at your phone debating whether to add an exclamation point, a smiley face, a “lol,” or all three, welcome. You might be dealing with digital communication anxiety—a very real, very exhausting modern problem.

Let me explain.

When a Text Becomes a Whole Emotional Event

I find myself looking down at every message I send and immediately asking questions like:

• Does this sound too blunt?
  
• Should I add a smiley so they know I’m not annoyed?
  
• If I don’t include a “lol,” will they think I’m being too serious?
  

I worry that if I don’t soften everything with emojis, I’ll accidentally come across as irritated, cold, or uninterested. And that fear doesn’t come from nowhere—it comes from caring. A lot.

Some people send clean, punctuation-perfect texts. Meanwhile, I’m over here sprinkling in a “haha” like I’m seasoning dinner.

But here’s the thing: it’s not performative.
Any time I type “lol,” I actually laugh to myself.
Any time I write “aww,” I really do feel that soft drop in my chest.

It’s my way of giving you the emotional cues we lose through screens.

But…I Like Emojis

Digital communication anxiety is rough—especially if your brain is wired to over-read and over-analyze.

I know not everyone texts like a cheerful middle-schooler the way I sometimes do. But honestly? I care a lot about how my message might impact someone else. One of my basic philosophies in life is this:

A genuine smile—digital or real—is one of the simplest gifts you can give the world.

So if texting makes it harder to show tone or warmth…
Yes, I will send the smiley.
Yes, I will add the softening “haha.”

I don’t think human connection is fading—it’s just shifting. Texting helps me stay connected in between actual face-to-face conversations. It’s opened up new ways of interacting that I didn’t have before.

Speaking of which…hello, reader! So glad we have a way of connecting that we wouldn’t have about a decade prior.

For Anyone Else Overthinking Their Messages

If you’re reading this because you overanalyze your texts too—or because anxiety makes even simple interactions feel overwhelming—here are a few gentle ideas that might help:

1. Pause before spiraling.

If you catch yourself rereading the same message for the fifth time, try taking a breath, unclenching your shoulders, and sending it as is. Most people aren’t dissecting your punctuation the way you are.

2. Not every text needs emotional “proof.”

You don’t have to soften everything with a smiley to be understood. You’re allowed to send a neutral message. But always be yourself above all else.

3. If you care about people, of course you worry.

Overthinking often comes from wanting to show kindness and connection—not from a flaw in you.

4. Try grounding yourself in “what I meant,” not “what they might think.”

Intent matters, even if tone sometimes gets lost. If you meant it kindly, that’s your anchor.

5. Practice sending “low-effort” messages.

Not cold, not abrupt—just simple.
A quick “sounds good” or “see you soon” can be a healthy experiment.

6. Check in with your body.

Sometimes digital anxiety is a sign your nervous system needs a moment. Stretching, deep breaths, or stepping away from your phone can help reset the overthinking loop.

7. The people who know you won’t misinterpret one text.

This can be a comforting reminder when your brain tries to convince you otherwise.

And Yes…I Still Use Emojis

Just a tiny disclaimer before the usual one—I wrote this a while back. I still feel the same, but I’ve grown a little. I use fewer emojis now.

Less…but not none.
I’m not that reformed. 😉
See? Heehee.

Sources & Further Reading

These are real books and organizations that explore anxiety, communication, and emotional regulation:

Books

• Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong — MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD
  
• The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook — Edmund J. Bourne
  
• Self-Compassion — Kristin Neff, PhD
  
• Reclaiming Control: Overcoming Social Anxiety — Daniela F. Sieff
  
• Maybe You Should Talk to Someone — Lori Gottlieb
  

Organizations & Articles

• American Psychological Association (APA) — resources on anxiety & communication
  
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) — practical guides to managing anxiety
  
• Mental Health America (MHA) — tools for understanding emotional overwhelm
  
• Greater Good Science Center (UC Berkeley) — articles on connection, meaning, and emotional resilience

Some Topics for Discussion

What do you think? Do you like the direction social interaction is going? What are the pitfalls of social media and digital communication? And what are the pros? Do you struggle with digital communication anxiety? Leave a comment below ⬇️

A Lil’ Disclaimer about comments:

This blog is meant to be a springboard for discussions on some tough topics. It’s so easy to feel alone, but you’re not! 

That hurt you feel? Someone knows it, too. 

It doesn’t mean your hurt is less important. It means that you’ve got someone out there that is bound to understand. At least a little.

Things can get tricky. Not all people are kind. But most are just trying to survive.

It’s important to honor the nuances in what someone else is going through, too. Your experience is your own.

It’s complicated, yes.

I’m happy to encourage others to share their stories. Like on any other platform, vulnerability comes with risks. Don’t share unless you feel comfortable. You can count on me in the meantime to put it all out there. 😅