A few years ago, my therapist introduced me to something that has impacted my life (for good) ever since. It’s the enneagram!
Have you heard of it?
Essentially, it’s a personality typing system, much like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). Instead of 16, it has nine distinct types:
1-The Perfectionist, 2-The Giver, 3-The Achiever, 4-The Individualist, 5-The Investigator, 6-The Loyalist, 7-The Enthusiast, 8-The Challenger, and 9-The Peacemaker.
It Can Be Brutal To Learn About Yourself
A little warning: this system doesn’t coddle you–it shocks you with its brutally honest “gotcha” moments. I knew it got me when I was embarrassed by its accuracy. But it was beautiful. I arrived at a crossroads, of sorts: I cared more about learning about myself–especially the embarrassing parts–than continuing to be the same person. Not that there was anything ever “wrong” with me. I don’t believe that for a second. And just to be clear, you shouldn’t, either. 😊
Everyone can become a better version of themselves. Acknowledging the patterns that are holding us back from becoming something new is not negative. It’s not looking down on yourself to see the less pleasant parts in your personality–it’s valuing who you are enough to want to make changes.
Grateful For the Knowledge
After discovering my type, I felt seen, understood.
And it’s not about putting yourself into a box. Knowing yourself does not permit us to choose familiar coping methods that no longer help in adulthood. Over the years, I’ve learned that taking action is hard, but freezing and staying the same is even harder.
This personality system came at a time I really needed it. And it’s only continued to help me since.
So I really wanted to share it with you.
It’s a Place To Start
It’s impossible to fix something if we don’t know where the problem really lies. I was so used to doing things a certain way that once I got a sense of both my strengths and challenges, I realized how much agency I actually have. I can change the script to facilitate a fulfilling life, not resign to what was ordinary or what was comfortable because “that’s how I’ve always done it.”
I have a new appreciation for who I am–and the ability to see that I’m not a victim of “how it’s always been.” I can be whoever I want to be. As they say, you can choose your hard. Do you want things to stay the same? The answer may legitimately be a yes. That’s cool. It may still be working for you.
But I say it never hurts to know yourself better.
On the flip side, though, maybe, like me, you’re saying no, I don’t want things to be this way anymore.
And that’s when I smile, because I know that you have choices. You have agency. You can choose to be different.
Damn, that’s awesome.
More info on the Enneagram to come in the next few weeks!
IN the Meantime…
You can read about the enneagram for yourself on this website: The Enneagram Institute.
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