One time, my therapist asked me to do a visualization exercise. There was a funeral that weekend, and I was deeply concerned about saying the wrong thing. I didn’t want to unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings. While I am no stranger to loss, I still felt ill-equipped to talk about it. I told my therapist that I wanted to “keep it together.”
When my therapist asked me to paint a picture of what “keeping it together” meant, I had a flash in my head of me…standing, holding bags in my arms and carefully picking up the other metaphorical baggage around me. I immediately knew this was not a good image for me. 😶 I didn’t need to keep any baggage close to me, yet there I was … wanting to keep things to myself and picking up the pieces of others’ burdens in the process. This is pretty unfair to me.
I want to help others drop their baggage, not to carry it myself. And this also means laying my baggage down … somewhere where no one else will be affected by it. I guess that’s the crazy part–while there are inappropriate times to talk about your issues, sometimes the very thing people need to see is your struggle. Perhaps sharing experiences so others can learn from what you’ve been through (and not stuffing anything inside where no one else can see) is the most loving thing a person can do. Maybe suffering doesn’t need to be shared, but respected and lovingly understood.
Some Topics for Discussion
What do you think “keeping it together” means? Have you been in a situation where you really wanted to be there for someone, but didn’t know how? I’m not the only one who would love to hear about it. Leave a comment below ⬇️
A Lil’ Disclaimer about comments:
This blog is meant to be a springboard for discussions on some tough topics. It’s so easy to feel alone, but you’re not!
That hurt you feel? Someone knows it, too.
It doesn’t mean your hurt is less important. It means that you’ve got someone out there that is bound to understand. At least a little.
Things can get tricky. Not all people are kind. But most are just trying to survive.
It’s important to honor the nuances in what someone else is going through, too. Your experience is your own.
It’s complicated, yes.
I’m happy to encourage others to share their stories. Like on any other platform, vulnerability comes with risks. Don’t share unless you feel comfortable. You can count on me in the meantime to put it all out there. 😅
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