Are you currently experiencing an existential crisis? You’re not alone. I’m here to map out a few things that can help. I wish to note, as I’ve mentioned before, that I’m speaking as a person who has experienced what I have deemed an existential crisis. I am not a therapist nor am I an authority on mental health, but I did seek help when I needed it most, and I wanted to pass on the tools I learned through speaking with a professional. Yay for therapy!
Why is existing so hard?
Right off the bat, the best tool I wish to share with you all, dear reader (ooh, a Bridgerton reference–don’t mind me 😉 ), is the power of mindfulness. If you’ve seen a therapist or are a person who meditates, this is probably a very familiar term for you.
For those that are not familiar (this was me!), mindfulness is the act of fully taking in the environment–the sights, sounds, smells, tastes–all the senses. It is also the observation (but not judgment) of thoughts and feelings in your mind. Essentially, focusing on the now.
When I first thought about this concept, I was certain that I had already been doing that. But I was not–not fully, anyway. This is why I had anxiety.
Embrace Existing: The now
When I chose to fully immerse myself in the very moment I was living, I became aware of the most powerful tool to exist–the now! Because of my existential crisis, I woke up to the importance of the present. I made a conscious effort to stop spiraling into a frenzy of possible scenarios in the future or dwelling on the past, and it changed the way I think completely.
By some beautiful circumstance, I am right now, at this moment, speaking to you through this platform. Hi! I’m glad you’re here because I don’t think this is just a coincidence. I only wish to share my story with you because it was through my existential crisis, this extremely uncomfortable time in my life, that real transformation and true appreciation for me happened. I hope my experience can help you, too! There is so much to be excited about at this moment, but maybe you don’t feel that way yet. That’s completely understandable and true to how I felt from the beginning of my waking up to the present.
The Wake-Up Call
For years, I was training my brain to follow these patterns of constant worry. I felt that if I wasn’t consistently working through a problem or anticipating the next situation to come, I wasn’t doing an effective job of living.✔️ I was so wrong. Problem-solving is wonderful, but only when it is necessary. I was using worry as a crutch, a way to prove to myself that I was existing and I was making things happen. But I didn’t allow myself to rest. All of that knowledge, if you’d like to call it that, was being stored inside me with nowhere to go. Usually, the worries I would process didn’t even need to be explored, because they never happened. Yikes–that’s a lot of focus to put on something that bore no fruit in reality.
Now, I accept the gift of grace and recognize that for good change to happen, mistakes also must–not perhaps–be made. Of course, I will always use knowledge from experience from my past and the people around me to keep some mistakes from happening, but the reality is I will make them. This is a good thing because it means that I’ve decided to live outside of my mind–I’ve decided to live in the now. Perfection, although a lovely concept, is not possible. That is why learning and experiencing are so beautiful.
Be gentle
Being ok with making mistakes may be very easy for some of you. That’s great! This wasn’t me. The fear of making a mistake or hurting someone’s feelings has always been a concern for me. But I recognized that by not putting out my perspective or point of view, by not participating in the now, I was robbing the potential for true growth in myself and others around me. If the risk is perhaps–maybe–what if–the option of silence is too big a price to pay to avoid making a mistake.
Within the now, anything can be explored and anything can be changed. If feelings were hurt, see it as an opportunity to come to a greater understanding with the person in front of you. Talk about it now. If you say something silly or make a fool of yourself, smile and see the beauty in humility. The only person you have true agency over is yourself. Cherish that! You are the only you–how wonderful is that?!
Some Topics for Discussion
Have you ever felt like this just can’t be it? Do you think there is a gaping hole somewhere in your life? Do you have many reasons to feel fulfilled, but think something is missing? Got any suggestions on how not to feel this way? Leave a comment below ⬇️
A Lil’ Disclaimer about comments:
This blog is meant to be a springboard for discussions on some tough topics. It’s so easy to feel alone, but you’re not!
That hurt you feel? Someone knows it, too.
It doesn’t mean your hurt is less important. It means that you’ve got someone out there that is bound to understand. At least a little.
Things can get tricky. Not all people are kind. But most are just trying to survive.
It’s important to honor the nuances in what someone else is going through, too. Your experience is your own.
It’s complicated, yes.
I’m happy to encourage others to share their stories. Like on any other platform, vulnerability comes with risks. Don’t share unless you feel comfortable. You can count on me in the meantime to put it all out there. 😅
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